断る
ことわる·kotowaru
Meaning
to refuse; to decline; to turn down; to reject
Nuance & Usage
断る is a godan verb meaning to clearly refuse or decline. It is more direct than 遠慮する (which is passive avoidance) and less harsh than 拒否する (kyohi suru — to flat-out reject). Common uses: 誘いを断る (decline an invitation), 申し出を断る (turn down an offer), 断りにくい (hard to refuse). In Japanese culture, directly saying no is sometimes avoided — people may use phrases like ちょっと... (it's a bit...) or 検討します (I'll consider it) to imply a soft refusal. The noun form 断り (kotowari) means a refusal or notice.
Common Mistakes
In Japanese culture, directly refusing can feel rude. Learners need to know both the word and the cultural context. A softer phrasing: 今回はちょっと... (This time is a little...) implies refusal without directly saying 断ります. For formal refusals, ご遠慮いただけますか？ (Could you please refrain from...?) is more polite than 断ります. Don't confuse 断る (to refuse someone's request) with 断つ (tatsu — to sever/cut off something, like a habit).
Example Sentences (3)
せっかくのお誘いですが、今回は断らせていただきます。
せっかくのおさそいですが、こんかいはことわらせていただきます。
Thank you for the kind invitation, but I must decline this time.
嫌なことははっきり断ることも大切です。
いやなことははっきりことわることもたいせつです。
It is also important to clearly refuse things you don't want to do.
残念ながら、そのご要望にはお応えできかねます。
ざんねんながら、そのごようぼうにはおこたえできかねます。
Unfortunately, we are unable to accommodate that request.
Quick Quiz
Quick Quiz
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